Are you having issues talking about your feelings to the one you love? based on recent studies, talking about your feelings is not the only way for couples to remain happy together. There are, in fact, several ways to enrich emotional communication and develop your relationship.
Let’s begin with starting small talk. You may think gabbing about a new gadget or even news is far from connecting emotionally, but studies show these supposedly unimportant details are actually more likely to deepen your emotional bond to your partner than a deep and straightforward discussion of your feelings.
You may also believe you know all the bits and pieces of your partner’s life, but it’s a way of growing closer. You can even talk about yourself, but avoid sounding full of it. Ensuring a perfect balance between talking and listening is challenging in most relationships, but even more difficult as you get to know each other, so it’s imperative that you both get the opportunity to talk and listen.
By the way, listening, is an actual skill, and improving yours is possible through a technique known as called “active listening.” This is a style of listening where you show that you are not merely listening, but also understanding what the other is talking about.
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Understanding could be communicated with a smile or a few words, like “I see” – if you did really understand. Interestingly, active listening may also involve interruptions to clarify or even disagree to something that was said.
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If you must interrupt, always ask permission. “Sorry, but I just have to ask you a question” is an appropriate way to do it. Then ask something that is obviously relevant to what your partner was talking about. If you don’t agree with the total concept or with their handling of a certain situation, wait for them to finish talking before expressing your disagreement. If you must seek to be clarified on something, tell them nicely, careful not to sound accusatorial.
Once you know of some of the concealed shared moments you’re having with your partner, look for ways to increase the amount of your daily “insignificant” experiences together. If one or both of you are not very good at communicating your feelings or even talking about the most basic details of your day, don’t fret. Go back to the first few paragraphs.
Remember, research says just spending time with your partner doing seemingly trivial activities, from listening to music to reading the paper, is way more important to your relationship’s health than discussing feelings.